DATING MYTHS EXPOSED: DO JEWISH MEN REALLY HAVE A THING FOR ASIAN WOMEN?

On April 16, 2013 I tweeted this post from a site called Coffee Meets Bagel – a new entry into the online dating site game. Three months later, I see my original tweet retweeted every few days or so. And I thought about the question that was supposedly answered in the original post, “Do Jewish Men Really Have A Thing For Asian Women?” and I decided that I would write the definitive (as in my) answer to this question, then tweet it and sit back and see what happens.

I believe that if one were to ask the question “if Jewish men really have a thing for Asian women” in NYC or LA, the answer would be yes, Jewish men have a thing for Asian women. But that would be a stereotypical answer in the two cities of our country where stereotypes reign. This little map is an example of someone’s approach to stereotyping 48 of our 50 states, but has no bearing on the topic of this post other than showing that stereotypes are rampant and often wildly insensitive and just plain wrong.

mainland-usa-according-to-common-sense

My completely non-scientific research indicates this particular myth is all over the internet. Here’s a link to a blog that highlights 7 Jewish/Asian couples of some prominence; and does add some fuel to the argument that their may be some truth to this myth if you happen to be billionaire George Soros.

I grew up in Allentown, PA and was a stereotypical “nice Jewish boy” and I have to admit that having been spurned by the nice Jewish girls in my circle of friends, I was inexplicably drawn to what was then, and probably still is the real trophy for nice Jewish boys, blonde haired and blue-eyed non-Jewish girls, aka “shiksa goddesses.” And this may have been best illustrated by Cybil Shepard and Charles Grodin in The Heartbreak Kid; remade recently with Ben Stiller, (but I didn’t see that version, so I can’t vouch for the impression it might have made on today’s crop of nice Jewish boys).

The epitome of what nice Jewish boys dreamt about in the Seventies - perfectly represented by a true Shiksa Goddess, Cybil Shepard.

The epitome of what nice Jewish boys dreamt about in the Seventies – perfectly represented by a true Shiksa Goddess, Cybill Shepherd.

I can attest that this film, as filled as it was (and still is) with enough nasty stereotypes for everyone, represented a goal that many a nice Jewish boy went out of their way to achieve. And I admit that in 1972  and for many years to follow, I was drawn to that specific stereotype. Although I’m guessing that the stereotype Neil Simon created in the guise of Cybill Shepherd wasn’t limited to Jewish boys. And Billy Joel only added fuel to the fire for adolescent boys and still adolescent men when he wrote  “Only The Good Die Young” and cast future wife Christie Brinkley in the video for  “Uptown Girl.” Look closely at the lyrics to both songs if you don’t believe me.

But I digress.

This Jewish man is attracted to Asian women. And to Black women, White women, Jewish women. In fact any woman whose eyes flash, whose intellect stimulates, and whose smile and laugh are infectious. Because sooner or latter all men, Jewish or not, grow up and myths remain just that, myths.

Missed Opportunity

This evening I was at the 5th anniversary party for The London West Hollywood, held on its famous rooftop. I want to thank The London for having invited me and I appreciated being able to attend.

But I blew it big time.

On my first pass around the roof I saw a woman who resonated with me. Not sexually, and not in a way that I wanted her to feel uncomfortable. But because she was by far, and I believe I have the resume to back up this declaration, the best dressed and best looking woman at the whole event.

Her dress was white lace, mid-thigh. She had a slip on under it (proper and all that much better) so all one could see of skin through the dress was the bottom four or five inches above her hem, mid-thigh. I realized it right away, stopped, made eye contact and smiled, and then continued on my pass around the huge rooftop. I noted that she appeared to be with some male friends and felt I had acted like a gentleman in not interrupting her.

When I came around a second time some minutes later, she was every bit as stunning, well dressed, and beautifully presented as one might expect. Just not what one would expect to see on the rooftop of a packed party. About thirty minutes later I was speaking to a photographer friend of mine and I told him about her and asked that he come with me to find her – thinking I would introduce myself, explain that I had 16,500 some followers on Twitter, and ask her permission to take her photograph and post it as an example of what I thought a well dressed, beautiful woman should look like at an event that really didn’t call for that kind of attention to detail (and this is no snipe at The London – when you invite this many people, you get what you get). And maybe I would have found the courage to give her my card, and introduce myself to her friends, explain what I was asking for, and pay them all a compliment.

We didn’t find her and I never met her and I never got to share her image. Shame on me.

Life is too short to let this happen again. And I hope I will learn that lesson.

To The Point

Sometimes verbally beating around the bush just doesn’t work. And too many people are afraid of coming right out and saying what they really want to say – and that has to mean that businesses face the same dilemma. We found one business that may have broken a few rules of marketing and etiquette, but clearly expressed the point they wanted to make …Image

A Guide to Interacting with Women (From Esquire’s “A Man’s Guide to Taking Care of Himself”)

                                                                                                                                                                 ALWAYS                                                                                                  

Stand up when greeting a woman on when you’re being introduced to one. Make eye contact, too — that they like.

SOMETIMES  

  Stand up when a woman arrives at a table. If there are only a few people at the table, stand; if there are six or more, stay seated.

 NEVER

Rush into a hug or kiss with a new woman or casual acquaintance. Same goes for touching.

ALWAYS

Help her put on her coat.

SOMETIMES

Hold the door. Whoever gets to the door first holds it for the others.

NEVER

Kiss her hand. It’s weird.

ALWAYS

When greeting a female friend or family member, go for her left cheek. Any hesitation in cheek direction and you might bump heads.

SOMETIMES

Get off an elevator first. If it’s just a few of you, let her go first, but if there are more than five people in there, everyone should exit in his or her turn.

NEVER

Honk your horn. Instead, park the car and go to the door. And don’t sigh if she asks for a few more minutes. She’s dressing up for you.

ALWAYS

Offer to carry something. if she’s overloaded with books or bags, she’ll appreciate your offer, even if she doesn’t take you up on it.

SOMETIMES

Pick up the tab for a meal. Offer to pay, but if she wants to split the bill or treat you, go with it.

NEVER

Leave her alone. If you arrive at a party together, stay with her for the duration of the evening. Be attentive–introduce her and include her in your conversations.